The key to herding sheep is to keep them afraid of everything. That’s where the Experts come in. In case sheep aren’t sufficiently terrified by Covid now that its lethality is petering out, there is always the menace posed by hotdogs:

It would seem that researchers have released a nutritional index aiming to inform guidelines and help Americans achieve healthier and more environmentally stable diets.

The index ranked foods by minutes gained or lost off healthy life per serving…

Among the findings:

[A] beef hot dog on a bun resulted in some 36 minutes lost “largely due to the detrimental effect of processed meat,” study authors wrote.

Also, it is possible to choke on a hotdog. I’m not kidding, that’s a part of the research. But wait, can’t you choke on any food you shove down your pie hole? “SHUT-UP, DON’T ASK QUESTIONS!”

Worse yet, remember that hotdogs are vaguely patriotic, often being consumed on the Fourth of July. They were a staple at baseball games when that was America’s pastime, back in the days before the obsequious Black Lives Matter kneeling and kowtowing ruined the sport for everyone. This implies that eating hotdogs could lead to jingoism, which brain dead liberals will tell you is a terrifying phenomenon that should be shunned like Old Glory and the National Anthem.

But wait, we’re not done yet, the researchers also considered the “carbon footprint” of foods. And as you know according to liberal doctrine, if you eat the wrong food, it will become too hot outside, and this will negatively impact the health of aboriginals in tepid climates as well as the health of terrorists like the Taliban and ISIS making them mad and causing them to cut off the heads of non believers everywhere.

Now, we all know that liberal doctrine is patently insane, but researchers who do not cater to it have a harder time acquiring lucrative taxpayer-funded grants to enrich them, making it harder to keep up the payments on their Palm Springs condos and luxury Tesla’s so they twist their findings to keep the cash rolling in.

When science concerned itself with facts over fear and advancement over politics it gave us technology that seemed magical at the time, think of Marconi and his discovery of radio waves which gave birth to all modes of modern communications such as cell phones, television, the internet etc. But as with baseball, brain dead liberalism has ruined it so you have to take it all with a grain of salt, a glob of mustard and don’t forget the onions.

Visits: 55